he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
