Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I need water and some morals
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
