Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
