There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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