we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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