i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
