Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
