Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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