Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
