my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
