i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I skipped work to stalk him.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
