I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
is that a dick in a sweater?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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