Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
