Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
