What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I need to align my fucking chakras
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
