i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
