Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
