YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Randomize
