I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
