Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
