My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
