Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
