Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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