and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
