But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
