Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Randomize
