I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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