i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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