If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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