Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
one might say we're banned from that church
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
