I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm jealous of your bromance
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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