Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
