i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
