One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
