I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
