he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
