booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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