i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
