the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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