i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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