So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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