Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
