I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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