I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You may now shotgun with the bride
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
