party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
