Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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