Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
