he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
