Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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