I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
