i would punch a child for taco bell
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
